If you're planning speeches for your wedding reception, or if you've been asked to speak at a wedding, and you're wondering who’s supposed to speak and when and wedding speech order, you’re not alone.
Traditionally, wedding speeches follow a specific structure, but modern weddings have become much more flexible. Some couples stick with the classic lineup, while others mix things up to include more people, to balance public speaking skills and content, or both.
In short, there's no wrong answer. This is your wedding. The only goal is to have wedding reception speeches that are enjoyed, rather than simply endured.
Here’s a simple guide to who traditionally gives speeches at weddings, the traditional order of speeches at a wedding reception, and ways couples can mix it up to fit their vision.
What Is the Traditional Order of Speeches at a Wedding?
To some degree, the traditional order of speeches depends on what part of the world you're in.
Historically in the US, the bride’s family hosted the celebration, which is why the father of the bride typically started the speeches. It's an organic way to kick things off and welcome your guests.
That was traditionally followed by a toast and some stories by the best man, followed by a short thank you from the groom on behalf of the couple.
Today, many couples add a maid of honor speech or matron of honor speech, and the short thank you from the groom is often expanded to a thank you speech delivered by both the bride and groom.
In the UK, Australia, and several other countries, the groom's speech itself is its own tradition. In the US, that spot tends to be occupied by something from the couple as unit or individually.
Father of the Bride Speech or Parents of the Bride Speech
Traditionally, the father of the bride gives the first speech of the evening.
His role is to welcome guests, thank everyone for attending, and say a few words about the bride. This speech often includes a mix of heartfelt memories, proud moments, and maybe a funny story or two from her childhood.
It usually ends with welcoming the groom into the family and raising a toast to the newlyweds.
Maid of Honor
The maid of honor often shares a speech as well.
This speech tends to be heartfelt and personal. It might include stories about the bride, reflections on their friendship, and a few humorous memories that capture the bride’s personality.
The best maid of honor speeches balance humor with genuine emotion.
Best Man
The best man usually delivers the final speech in the traditional order.
Sometimes weddings include multiple best men or even a best woman, which can add extra fun to the speeches. Regardless of who gives it, this speech typically includes humor, a few stories about the groom, and a toast to the couple.
Best Man Speech
The best man traditionally closes the speeches.
This is often the most entertaining speech of the night. The best man usually shares a few stories about the groom, ideally funny ones that still keep things respectful.
The best speeches strike a balance between humor and sincerity. A great best man speech ends with a toast wishing the couple happiness in their marriage.
Groom's Speech or Bride and Groom Thank You Speech
Some couples give a joint speech thanking guests for attending and acknowledging the people who helped make the wedding possible. Others prefer to speak individually.
Either way, this is often one of the most genuine and heartfelt moments of the reception.
In my wedding speechwriting, I usually suggest that the couple speak last so that they can not only thank and acknowledge the guests for coming, they can thank and acknowledge all the speakers.
Who Gives Speeches at Weddings?
While the traditional lineup includes the father of the bride, groom, and best man, many modern weddings include additional speakers.
Couples today often invite the people who have played the most important roles in their lives to speak. This might include parents, siblings, or close friends.
The key question isn’t just who gives speeches at weddings, but rather who the couple wants to hear from on their big day.
Parents of the Couple
It’s increasingly common for both sets of parents to speak.
The father or mother of the groom may choose to say a few words to welcome their new son or daughter-in-law into the family. These speeches are often warm, supportive, and full of stories about the couple.
Sometimes both parents speak together, especially if they want to keep things short and meaningful.
If the line-up of speakers gets too long for the wedding reception, many couples will choose to have the parents of the groom speak together or individually a the rehearsal dinner.
The rehearsal dinner is also a good spot to place speeches from friends and family members. It's better to have two sets of engaging and well-balanced speeches than an uncomfortably long session at the reception, when your guests would like to get on to dancing and socializing.
Typical Order of Speeches at a Wedding Reception
While every wedding is different, a typical order of speeches at a wedding reception often looks like this:
- Welcome speech from the host or parents
- Maid of honor speech
- Best man speech
-
Groom's speech or couple’s thank-you speech
This structure works well because it gradually shifts from formal to relaxed. Early speeches focus on welcoming guests and sharing family stories, while later speeches bring humor and celebration.
When Do Wedding Speeches Usually Happen?
Another common question couples ask is when wedding speeches should happen during the reception.
There are a few popular options depending on the style and schedule of the wedding.
Speeches Before Dinner
Some couples choose to have speeches before dinner.
This works well because guests are still attentive and focused. Once speeches are finished, everyone can relax and enjoy the meal without interruptions.
The only downside is that guests might be hungry, so shorter speeches tend to work best here.
Speeches After the Meal
Another option is to save all speeches until after dinner.
This allows the meal to flow smoothly and gives guests time to relax before the speeches begin. Keep in mind that your guests will likely be drinking during dinner, so attention may be harder to hold.
Modern Alternatives to the Traditional Wedding Speech Order
Wedding traditions are helpful, but they’re not rules.
I always encourage couples to create a speech lineup that that sets both the speakers and the listeners up for success.
How Many Speeches Should There Be at a Wedding?
A good guideline is three to six speeches.
Too few speeches can make the reception feel rushed, while too many can test everyone’s attention span.
Most speeches work best when they last around three to five minutes. That’s enough time to tell a story, share a meaningful message, and end with a toast without losing the room.
Tips for Planning Wedding Speeches
Planning ahead helps the speeches flow smoothly and keeps the reception organized.
Here are a few simple tips that make a big difference.
Keep Speeches Short and Engaging
The best speeches are memorable because they’re concise.
A few meaningful stories and a heartfelt toast will always be more impactful than a long speech filled with too many details.
Decide the Order in Advance
Let your speakers know when they’ll be speaking so they can prepare.
This also helps the venue, photographer, and catering team plan the evening around key moments.
Assign Someone to Introduce Each Speaker
Having an MC or host introduce each speaker keeps the evening running smoothly.
It also prevents those awkward moments when everyone looks around wondering who is supposed to stand up next.
Final Thoughts on the Order of Speeches at a Wedding
The traditional order of speeches at a wedding reception provides a helpful starting point, but every couple can adapt it to suit their celebration.
Some weddings follow the classic lineup of father of the bride, groom, and best man. Others include parents, friends, or siblings who want to share a few words.
At the end of the day, wedding speeches are about celebrating love, sharing stories, and bringing everyone together for a moment that feels personal and meaningful.
And if a speech runs a little long or a joke doesn’t land exactly as planned?
That usually just makes the story even better later.
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